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Tauawhi – Tairawhiti Men’s Centre opened last week – drop and see Tim, Tangi and the team above the Family Works Op Shop in Peel St over the road from Sessions Bar.

Violence Free Tairawhiti Music Video (Matapuna Training Centre)

Supa Gizzy & Supa Coaties Fullas Photo Competition

DOWNLOAD: Supa Gizzy & Supa Coastie fullas Entry Form

Young ribbons dot city

WHITE RIBBON MESSAGE: Nearly 500 students from Gisborne Intermediate lined their school field to form this giant ribbon to mark White Ribbon Day yesterday.

http://www.gisborneherald.co.nz/article/?id=14852

Thousands of Gisborne children lined their school fields to form giant white ribbons in a unique stand against domestic violence yesterday.

Children from Wainui Beach School, Waikirikiri School, Kaiti School, Gisborne Intermediate and New Life Christian School with students from Gisborne Boys’ and Girls’ High Schools, Campion College and alternative education providers Matapuna Training College, Turanga Ararau and Tautoko Work Trust formed human white ribbons at eight sites across Gisborne as part of White Ribbon Day yesterday.

The Lion Foundation Eastland Rescue Helicopter flew over each school field and reserve at around 1pm with The Gisborne Herald and Tairawhiti Men Against Violence (TMAV) onboard. The rescue trust donated its services for the White Ribbon cause.

Collaboration between the organisations and the schools was part of a community stance against violence against women and children, TMAV’s Tim Marshall said.

Waikirikiki School principal Yolanda Julies said it was important her 188 students took part in the event, because “our children come from that type of environment”.

“We are a bully-free school and we are really trying to enforce that. It’s a matter of respecting each other and respecting their parents, etc. It all ties in.”

Nearly all of the 500 students at Gisborne Intermediate took part in forming their giant ribbon, except for five students who were giving out white ribbons at Gisborne Hospital, principal Don Niven said.

52 Date Nights

TMAV are producing a new DVD that will feature local guys talking about our relationship with our partner. The DVD will include a booklet with 52 Date Night ideas that are low/no cost (and that doesn’t make us cheap!).

We need 52 ideas – so here’s the ones we have so far… add your own in the comments box at the bottom and we’ll put them on the list…

1. Go out for coffee/desert at a cafe

2. Park up at the beach

3. Visit the local observatory to star gaze

4. Walk on the beach

5. Walk in the park/bush

6. Watch the sunset together

7. Write lists about what first attracted you to each other

8. Visit the museum and talk about what heirloom items you want to pass on to your children/others/each other

9. Visit the art gallery and talk about your interpretation of a piece and how that might relate to your relationship

10. Play/listen to and discuss a piece of music together

11. Dance!

12. Go for a play at the driving range / golf course

13. Make sand scupltures together

14. Design your ideal house and talk about what is important in a home

15. Find a natural object and talk about how it symbolises some aspect of your relationship

16. Find some hot pools

17. Swim in a river (in summer!)

18. Make a fire on the beach and roast marshmellows

19. Both agree to say you love one another and why every evening before you go to bed.

2o. Both write a list of all the things that you would have like to have done in your lifetime and in the future and then both sort through them to see what you could do now and what you can see yourselves doing later. Go on the journey together in support of one another and tick off each thing that you complete of the list… (that should take you more than 5 years!).

21. Man vouchers. eg “This voucher entitles …….. to one week off laundry and dishes duty.” or “This voucher entitles ……… to a 30min foot massage from (Your name here)”

22. Man v woman singstar competition.

23. Photo rally. Cruise around town together taking photo’s of quirky things that represent qualities that you see in each other.

24. Fishing off the wharf (minus the kids) with a flask of hot chocolate.

25. Hair-do night = Do each others hair (Facial hair is fine for those who are folically challenged)

26. All about you night – Do stuff that the other person would love….even if you’d rather jump off a cliff

27. Sing quirky lines from songs to each other.

28. Stay in and bake a dessert together….then share it.

29. Go for a walk and pick puha or watercress (classy and practical)

30. If puha and watercress aren’t your thing….then substitute it for wild berries.

TMAV Fridge Magnets

Sets of three fridge magnets produced by TMAV are now available. The credit card sized magnets remind us to make quality time with our partner, to be kind and encouraging.

The magnets are free to men in Tairawhiti and $5 including postage to anywhere else in New Zealand.

17 Keys to Peaceful Parenting

How much do you agree with these statements?

1. Peace begins with me.

2. I have made my home a place of kind words.

3. I catch my children in the act of positive behaviours and praise them immediately, specifically and sincerely.

4. I spend at least 20 minutes a day with each child, listening, interacting, and giving my full attention.

5. I am clear on the standards of behaviour I expect of my children. I honour those standards and expect my children to do the same.

6. I provide my children with empty spaces of time during which they can just “be kids.”

7. I hold regularly scheduled family meetings where my children have a voice in the workings of our family.

8. I have set a foundation for peacefulness in our home by creating with my children “Guidelines/Tikanga for a Peaceful Whanau/Family.”

9. I always remember that I am the parent and deserve to be listened to.

10. I have fair, reasonable consequences for negative behaviours which I only use when necessary.

11. I listen with all my heart to what my children have to say, and teach them to be good listeners for others.

12. I teach my children how to handle anger in nondestructive ways and I model this consistently.

13. I resolve conflicts peacefully and teach my children to do the same.

14. I find ways to help my children succeed.

15. All my actions are guided by love, compassion, fairness, respect, and integrity. I nurture these attributes in my children.

16. I live my commitment to peaceful parenting; my commitment guides all my actions.

17. I remember daily that we each have an impact on the world around us and I teach this to my children.

Have a go at our questionnaire on the above questions to see how peaceful your parenting is!

 

Take a Stand

Local men staunch on vision of a violence-free Tairawhiti

Two years on from their establishment in the aftermath of the local tragedies of late 2006, Tairawhiti Men Against Violence continue to see a need for a community response to family violence. As the group prepare for White Ribbon Day 2008, Gisborne and the East Coast continue to figure highly in family violence statistics.

“We believe that until more local people are willing to do more, our community will continue to be held back by the scourge of violence.” said TMAV volunteer Tim Marshall. “While the tolerance levels have lowered and more people seem to be taking action to intervene there is still a huge amount of work to be done.”

Resource Centre for Men Presentation

On 24 November 2008 The Gisborne Herald organised a presentation by TMAV members to invited guests on the proposal to establish a Men’s Resource Centre in Gisborne.

Over 40 people attended the presentation representing various local interests including businesses, hapu, iwi and social service providers.

A PDF version of the presentation is available to download here.

A response card to the proposal is also available to download here.